smoke

I write better when I smoke. Don’t ask me to reduce it to a science.

GMA Died

GMA dies and went to afterlife waiting room where all the dead go for processing. She takes a number and settles down for a long wait. While waiting, she noticed that the walls of the room were covered with wall clocks, all apparently set to different times. 

When her number was finally called, she went up to the counter. Before the lady on the other side of the counter could say a word, GMA asked: “What are all theesh clocksh for?”

The woman answered: “Oh, those are lie clocks.”

“Lie clocksh?” GMA asked.

“Yep. Every person has a lie clock. Whenever a person tells a lie – big or small – the hands move,” the woman explained. “See? Over there is Jose Martinez’ clock. Those hands haven’t moved, which means Jose has never lied. It helps that he’s two months old.” The woman smiled.

Suddenly, the woman exclaimed “Look!” GMA followed the woman’s finger and saw an old clock. “Didyou see that? The hands moved which means …” the lady consulted a list. “John Solis just lied.”

“Oh, I shee.” Gloria answered. Then she said “Where’s my clock?”

“Let’s find out,” the lady said cheerfully. “Can I have your name?”

“Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.”

“Right. That’s Macapagal with a C right ….. ” the lady ran her finger down the list. “Oh, that clock is in the lounge. We use it as a ceiling fan.”

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Filed under: humor, , ,

3 Responses

  1. midfield says:

    Thanks for retelling that.. was also a hit during Erap’s days

  2. rom says:

    ding: thanks for politely reminding me how ancient this joke is. When adam tried to tell it to eve, she went off to find an apple to eat instead. LOL!

  3. UP n grad says:

    The most revered old-Lady of the Philippines was dying, and she sent for GMA and Erap to come to her home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to her bedroom, and the dying Old Lady of the Philippines held out her hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed; then she grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.

    Both Erap and GMA were touched and flattered that the Old Lady of the Philippines would ask them to be with her during her final moment. They were also puzzled because the Old Lady of the Philippines had never given any indication that she particularly liked either one of them.

    Finally, Erap asked, “but…. but… why did you ask the two of us to come?”

    The Old Lady of the Philippines answered weakly, “Jesus died between two thieves, and that’s how I want to go, too.”

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