smoke

I write better when I smoke. Don’t ask me to reduce it to a science.

Mickey D’s!

I’ve never been very lucky with hotel room teevees. The last time I was at a hotel, the teevee poured out smoke like a chimney. And this time, the stupid remote wouldn’t work. It’s an LG LCD teevee, bigger than my living room and flatter than an ironing board. But the remote wouldn’t work. After a long journey, I really wanted to watch teevee.

So I called the front desk and sweetly asked what sort of voodoo I needed to do to get the remote working. The lady on the other end giggled and promised to send up house keeping. In no time at all, the engineer came up and for about twenty minutes took the back of the teevee apart only to put it back again, only to take it apart once more. All the while, he kept muttering under his breath: ‘unbelievable piece of crap … they took a simple thing and totally screwed it up … unbelievable …” and so on.

Eventually, he gives up and offers to move me to another room. But I’d settled in already! So I tell ‘im it’s okay; I can deal with a screwy remote. The look on his face was so horrified I’m surprised I didn’t burst out laughing. “But then you’d have to get up just to change the channel!” he wailed, truly distressed at the idea. Again I reassured him it was okay and so he finally left, shaking his head at the strange oriental tourist.

Luckily, I was already hungry, so I didn’t have time to regret my heroic decision to forego a working remote control. I head on down to the lobby looking for grub, but the hotel restaurants – which were superb, the concierge assured me – were a little too complicated for me. So I struck out in search of a McDonald’s.

Dinner at Mickey D’s!

And that is how a real Big Mac looks like. Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun! And not a drop of ketchup anywhere near the burger. And look at how supersized the fries are. But that’s nothing compared to the soda …

Now excuse me while I go have a heart attack …

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Filed under: vacuity, ,

8 Responses

  1. cvj says:

    That’s why many Americans are fat, their portions are big.

  2. rom says:

    cvj: hehe, uncle. I was gonna say …

  3. Jen says:

    Philip Morris, ftw! 😀

  4. Bencard says:

    rom, compare that with pork adobo swimming in triglyceride, fatty tocino or longanisa, unlimited egg yolk, super-salted tuyo on the side, and a heap of sinangag for breakfast. wow, ginutom tuloy ako! now i’m craving.

  5. UP n grad says:

    as everyone ponders the enormity of that Big Mac, here is another food for thought. That the reason Barack Obama will step into the White House is money. Tons of money, unbelievable tons of money.

    More money spent on the “Obama brand campaign” than on a year advertisement for Diet Coke. More money spent on the “Obama brand campaign” than for Toyota.

    Just as much money spent on the Obama brand campaign as for McDonalds.

  6. brianbro says:

    I like it in HK where they serve sausage McMuffin all day.

  7. off-white knight says:

    i miss you terribly. come home already.

  8. BrianB says:

    Me too, ROM. Come home, mama.

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