I write better when I smoke. Don’t ask me to reduce it to a science.

Seafood Taco

Over at FV … ‘pudenda?’ What the fuck? Is there a dalaga in that room that those boys can’t bring themselves to talk plain? It’s a CUNT, fellas. And DJB, unless its some nasty skank’s, cunts generally can’t wiggle. Believe me.

Now let’s assume that this just some old world prudery or whatever, could you guys not find a better euphemism? Seriously.

How about …

The Afro Clam,
the Cod Canal,the hair pie, or
the Box Lunch at the Y?

The Hairy Manilow
The Oval Office, the Panty Hamster
Or Venus Traps a Fly?

Squishy, stanky, 
stinky krinky,
Stinky pink
Spunk pit, spunk locker
Split knish,
Sword swallower.

Aahh. The list is practically endless. And yet … PUDENDA. Sounds like a fuckin’ disease. I bet when they start talking about cocks over there, they’re probably gonna call it a … tallywhacker. Sheesh. How about …

Ba-donk-a-donk, Action Jackson
Admiral Winky, Anaconda
Blood engorged mayonnaise cannon

Cockasaurus Rex, beastus maximus
Colon cowboy, one-eyed wonder worm
Dickimus Maximus, and Honky the Magic Goose

Dangle, wang
Weapon for your poontang
King Dong, pubic bong
Motherfucking giant schlong

Shlock, shlong,shickel,schwartz
Ruby-headed love dart
Yogurt shooter, zipper ripper
And Mickey D’s 100% all meat thermometer

Now someone lay a back beat to this and we can knock Flo Rida off the charts already!


Filed under: humor,

17 Responses

  1. rom says:

    jester: you like? 😀

  2. DJB Rizalist says:

    Cunning linguist.
    But no, really. You, scary!
    We’re just an R-rated site over at FV.
    Not XYZZY.
    (But you’re probably too young to know xyzzy).

  3. rom says:

    DJB: “Nothing happens.” Hahaha. It’s called the internet, uncle. And it is soooo a substitute for age – when it comes to computer/hacker/gamer pop culture anyway. 😀

  4. beearl says:

    Ice Cube preferred “Nappy Dugout”

    And I think “Ovary Office” makes more sense than “Oval Office”.

    Other than that…nicely done! 🙂

  5. Prudence says:

    What’s wrong with pudenda? It’s not a disease; it’s actually the medical term for a woman’s external labia, the one covering her vagina.

  6. ACS says:

    I think Ba-donk-a-donk refers to the ass. Mine being rather shapely, of course.

    Cripes. Why can’t people just say vagina and penis? They’re part of the human body. We don’t look for euphemisms for mouth or ankle or thigh or underarm, do we?

  7. cvj says:

    I always thought ‘cunt’ referred to the entire vagina. Oh well, the female anatomy is more complicated.

    Btw, on the first category, you can add ‘beaver’. On the second, you can add ‘benign0’.

  8. rom says:

    Pru: LOL! there is a reason why this post is tagged ‘humor’ and filed under ‘humor.’ *rom puckers up her orbicularis oris muscles and blows prudence a kiss*

  9. rom says:

    cvj: you nasty! i don’t think benign0 would appreciate being called a schlong. LOL!

  10. Jeg says:

    I dont know about you but I think ‘pudendum’ is sexy. Cunt is just… a word. Like chicken. Pudendum is… oh, man I need a cold shower.

  11. Jeg says:

    Knowing benny, I think he takes great pride in being called a dick, as well as being called an orifice in the same general area. It’s one of his endearing characteristics.

  12. Prudence says:

    to rom:

    I think it rubbed me the wrong way. It seemed to me you begrudge someone for the use of “nicer-sounding” words to refer to things, instead of the more colloquial term.

  13. rom says:

    Pru: well, de gustibus and all that.

  14. Prudence says:

    I’d rather call a cock joey. Sorry to those who may have that name.

  15. Enjoy this discussion. Anybody heard of the penis called “dingdong”.

  16. niki says:

    LOL rom, you’re nasty, hahaha!

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