I write better when I smoke. Don’t ask me to reduce it to a science.


I hate it when people call each other ‘beh.’ Obviously short for baby – or more precisely, short for baby’s idiot cousin: bebeh.

I explain this because today, I lost patience with an otherwise dear friend of mine. It had been a long afternoon and this thing we were working on just wasn’t … well, working. Now this friend kept whining (sorry luv – you know you were) and dreaming up worst case scenarios. “Oh, shit, we’re in trouble if we can’t get this done, beh!” “We’ll fail, beh!” “We’ll turn into pillars of salt while the known universe crumbles into so much sawdust, beh!”


I shot up out of my seat and rounded on her so severely that I think she fell out of hers. Remembering it now, it all seems so funny. But back then, everything seemed to be unfolding underwater. I felt so sluggish, but the words were spilling out of my mouth faster than I could edit. I watched as her face went from worried to shocked to incredulous to weepy; I watched as tears welled up in her eyes and start making tracks down her cheeks.

And during it all, I had a mounting sense of satisfaction. Everyone is a sadist; the only difference is how deep we’ve buried it. Well, tonight, my inner Marquise clawed its way to the surface and went apeshit on my friend’s ass.

Not that I’m proud of what I’d done. She’s the sweetest thing on earth. She’s so sweet that once, when she couldn’t sleep because of a buzzing mosquito, she caught the pesky thing, cupped it in her two hands and – instead of squishing it – made loud buzzing noises into her cupped hands. “So it’ll know how annoying it was,” she explained. Hahaha.

Well, tonight, I guess was her turn to be annoying; and it was her that i held in my cupped hands. I only wish I hadn’t lashed into her like that. Hence this semi-public apology … and *gulp* debasement.

P_______, I’m sorry … beh.


Filed under: language, pop-culture, vacuity, , ,

4 Responses

  1. Bencard says:

    i could be wrong but i think “beh” originated from the visayas as a word of endearment.

  2. chut says:

    What happened to the hanging man post? It’s gone!

  3. cvj says:

    Sounds like the Singlish ‘la’, ‘lor’, ‘ma’ & ‘meh’.

  4. Rom says:

    bencard, cvj: ur both right of course.

    chut: welcome to the smoking room! Re, the post: i took it down. 😀

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