I write better when I smoke. Don’t ask me to reduce it to a science.

The edge of reason

You think you’ve got it all figured out. Then suddenly, someone comes along and upsets the natural order of your universe. Before you know it, you feel like you’re at some fork in the road. One way leads to a kind of bliss that you know will occasion confusion and hurt for the people you care about; the other leads to a renewed stability of your world where everyone in it remains happy except you – you, having turned away from the path that leads to bliss, you are miserable.

But even before you make the choice, you stand witness to the degeneration of things you once held dear: your objectivity, your sense of responsibility, your focus. In many ways, that’s the worst part: the edge of reason; the very lip of the cliff that you – ever the Fool – know you must eventually go over or turn away from forever. Once you’re committed either way, then it’s all just a matter of seeing the thing through.

What kind of thing is that to ask a person to do?


Filed under: musings,

3 Responses

  1. since that’s a tarot card, i gather you have a sense of the occult, reincarnation, and past lives? according to which, a past love may suddenly make eksena in the here and now, not necessarily for a long-term thing but because you two have some unfinished business, which sometimes takes very little to resolve and then he’s gone again. and then again, it could be longer-term. when it happened to me (in my younger days of course) i already had two kids, who made it easier to decide which way to go, even if i was miserable for a while. in your case, hard talaga. i guess it’d be a matter of deciding if he and the kind of future he offers, if any, is worth giving up what you have now. and then, again, that’s hard to tell unless you take the plunge. which is a kind of romantic thing to do. who knows what new doors might open… if possible, somehow, maybe test the waters first? … good luck 😉

  2. rom says:

    stuart-santiago: yep. i use the rider-waite deck. i’ve been wracking my brains how to test the waters without falling in … thanks for the kind advice. 😀

  3. oi. wai yu pleyeng mai kard?

    (first the header, now this? don’t tell me that you’re trying to tell me something, rom. nyahahahaha)

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