smoke

I write better when I smoke. Don’t ask me to reduce it to a science.

Job Interview

I answered the advert in the paper that said “Looking for single female, no attachments, for job requiring extensive traveling.”

The address on the advert took me to a dingy part of town. Having just graduated from university, I had the belief that i was invincible so I wasn’t too scared. It helped that I also knew nichak and that i had once beat down a six-foot gorg in a pick-up fight on campus.

“Kuang-Ning Bjornsdottir” I said to the receptionist. “I’m here about the advert.”

“Right” she answered in heavily accented Chinglish. “Down that hallway, last door on your left.” I went.

The door opened inward, and as I stepped in, I felt a tingle down my spine, like something was off. It’s not a spidersense exactly, but many times I’ve been on the receiving end of a whack for ignoring it. My gut tensed up, and I sank maybe an inch lower as I centered myself. Good thing, too.

Three spikes hit the wall behind me, roughly where hy head would have been if I hadn’t assumed the position. I was like, wtf?!

I collapsed my left knee and rolled off to the side. In the periphery of my hearing, I heard the dull thuds of more spikes embedding themselves into the floor where i had been half a second earlier. Sonuvabitch.

I pulled out my portable and slid it across the floor away from me. The screen lit up and in the faint glow, I saw boots. Girly boots. From the floor, I heave my satchel up to where her head would be – assuming she was proportioned the same as me, which was a big assumption considering how weird things had gotten in the last ten years or so. Luckily, this one was a real girl and my satchel hit pretty much where I wanted it too. Hah. It figures that a heavy purse would have some use after all.

I hear her grunt, and that was pretty much all I needed. I tackled her and after a few fancy nichak moves, I had my arm crooked around her neck and my knee up against her hamstring. “You’re hired,” she wheezed. “Bitch.”

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Filed under: new age, Rong-Nu, stories, , , , , ,

3 Responses

  1. scottyus says:

    I dig it. More please.

  2. rom says:

    scottyus: welcome to the smoking room. thanks for digging it! stay tuned for more, please, as I flesh out this nagging piece of my mind. 😀

  3. UP n student says:

    The marvelocity of property rights, again demonstrated! One can do all diddly-nonsense (or creative nig-nog writing, as one Anna de Brux may phrase it) in the “privacy” of his/her own space.

    The concept of property rights allows one to set aside this weird concept called “For the greater good”. Fun!!!!

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