I write better when I smoke. Don’t ask me to reduce it to a science.


Virginity. Does it still matter? Apparently, for some people, it does


The man suspected that his new bride, also a Muslim, was not a virgin on their wedding night in July 2006 because the bedsheets were not stained with blood. The woman later admitted to him she had had sex before their marriage.

The court granted the annulment request after ruling the man had been “mistaken about the essential qualities” of his wife-to-be.

The French government is determined to appeal that ruling in order to make sure it doesn’t become a precedent. French PM Francois Fillon said:

“I do not wish for people one day to be able to make virginity a constitutional element of marital consent.”

Vive le’France!

Much closer to home, the water-cooler talk suggests that Filipino men also still put a pretty high premium on virginity. In fact, I know of some men who loudly proclaim that they don’t care, only to turn cold when they discover that their blushing bride left her blood stains on someone else’s bedsheets. Of course, the wife is crushed – herself having been mistaken about the ‘essential quality’ of the man she married, i.e., she thought he wasn’t a cro-magnon.

But that isn’t even the half of it. Filipino women too put a high premium on virginity. Some actually say that it is all they have to offer their husband – the one thing that makes them desirable over other (said with a sneer of course) women. Never mind if the object of their affections has had sex with every other girl in the office – would, in fact, have sex with anything in a skirt.

Talk about low self-esteem.

So how can our men ever evolve if the women themselves submit meekly to their troglodytish demands for unsullied purity and refuse to hold men to the same standard of purity? I mean, if I denied myself the pleasure of sex and found myself a virgin at the altar, you can damn well believe that I’m not gonna marry someone who isn’t a virgin too. 

My body is my own; I wasn’t born with it to keep it in trust for some future knight-in-shining-armor who might never come, or if he came, I might not even recognize. Puh-leeze. And besides, if he hassles me for having had a life before he came, well he’s not the knight for me anyway.

And don’t even get me started about religion.




Filed under: musings, sex, society, , ,

6 Responses

  1. Jeg says:

    Yay to the judge treated marriage for what it is: a contract. You enter a contract in bad faith (that is, lie), youre guilty of breach of contract. The woman’s lie is a breach of a verbal agreement and deceived the husband to enter the contract. Take that, PC mafia! 😀

    The problem with the appeal is the State’s interference in what is essentially a contract between 2 adults. (The state really ought to get out of trying to define what a marriage is. Let the contract define it.)

  2. Jeg says:

    I meant “Yay to the judge for treating marriage for what it is…”

  3. with that kind of reasoning, jeg, a woman should likewise be able to annul a marriage with a man who lied about (or else did not mention) his sterility. heck, if he lied about his financial capacity or whatever else, that should be valid grounds too.

    love the diatribe, smoke. makes perfect sense.

  4. rom says:

    jeg: ook-ook, ooga-wabooga-eep!!! 😀

  5. Jeg says:

    Yup, jester. Good for the gander and all that…

  6. patadyong says:

    taga iloilo ka nene? you write damn well. vintagely well.

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