I write better when I smoke. Don’t ask me to reduce it to a science.

Mainstream: Leaving it and getting into it

Well, I wish I could say it’s been a good past coupla’days. But I would be lying. It hasn’t been a good past coupla’days; it’s been horrid. Looking over your shoulder at every shadow, cringing from every motorcycle-riding person, having to hold your breath at every red light. This is bull. If my courage is gonna make a come-back, I damned well hope it get a move on already.

My folks have been great about this whole thing. So has he. But – even though I know they mean well – I have to struggle not to scream “It’s not happening to you” everytime they tell me it’s gonna be okay. Maybe I’m being a big cry-baby. Maybe I’m being a quivering mass of chicken shit. But I want out of here. I want fucking OUT.

Haha. Which of course has as much chance of happening as the moon actually turning out to have a core of solid green cheese. And besides, I love it here too much. I’ve been to most of the places that normally get considered when people think about fleeing and while those places may be lovely to visit, i wouldn’t want to live there. So, that means I’m stuck here and since I am, I’m gonna have to find a way to deal.

The alternative is leaving the mainstream and cowering in fear all the time. And when that happens, the bastards would have won anyway.  


On to cheerier things … I’ve been getting some traffic from people with strong opinions about Brian Gorrell. Not that I’m complaining, but I have been wondering how they found their way here. I’ve not posted a comment on Brian’s blog and as far as I know, he hasn’t linked to smoke either. Must be the tags, right? Right. Anyway, all you Brian-lovers and Brian-critics, welcome to the smoking room.

Oh and, to all the Brian-lovers, congratulations on Brian going mainstream. Last I heard, he’s been causing quite a stir in our legal circles. Not really a surprise though, considering how celebrity-crazy Filipinos are and the continuing love-hate relationship we have with the concept of laws and rules, i.e., we luv ’em when they’re on our side, and we hate’em when they’re on the opposite side. Which is exactly what ABS-CBN has been taking advantage off, in case you dint notice.

All in all though, being famous because you slander people left and right isn’t my cup of tea. But I still wish Brian Gorrell well. And I hope he gets what he deserves.



Filed under: musings, ,

2 Responses

  1. cvj says:

    I was worried you’d stop blogging, good to see you’re hanging on.

  2. ptt says:

    A he? I am so jealous. Since you have your folks assurance that you’ll be fine, I think you’ll be fine. Threat or no threat, it has always been a good idea to be aware of ones surroundings, and be constantly assessing ones personal safety. Work principles of professional security organizations are guided by common sense. With you being the intelligent and hot lady that you are, anybody intending to cause you harm won’t even get close.

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