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I write better when I smoke. Don’t ask me to reduce it to a science.

Luxuria

Of the seven deadly sins, luxuria is my favorite. The other six – gula, avaritia, acedia, ira, invidia, and spurbia – are just too pedestrian. But deadly sins they all are. Except that it seems they are facing stiff competition from some new kids sins on the block.

In an apparent effort to address the needs of the flock in modern times, the Catholic Church has issued a decree that identifies seven “new” deadly sins.

The seven new sins are practicing birth control, biochemical experimentation, drug abuse, pollution of the environment, widening divisions between rich and poor, excessive wealth and creating poverty.

Drug abuse is certainly heinous, but whoa! So, if someone used a condom, they would go straight to hell? And what about those biochemists who are on their way to curing Alzheimer’s? Are they going to hell as well?

And what about pollution? By some lights, flicking a cigarette butt into an open drain can be considered ‘polluting the environment.’ So, if I did that, God would send me straight into the pit? And what about not using recyclable shopping bags? Or releasing methane via a fart? So, now if I fart, I go party with Beelzebub?

What the heck does “widening divisions between rich and poor” mean? The way i see it, when I work hard to earn a living, I am widening the gap between me and people who have less. I suppose this means that hard work might conceivably lead me to sin. And god forbid I win the lotto, lest I sin the sin of excessive wealth.

Oh and Gloria had better watch out too. The way her opponents are all accusing her of corruption and blaming her for rising poverty and unemployment, you can easily see that she’s the one most likely to pull off the hat trick – three new deadly sins in one fell swoop: widening the divisions between rich and poor, excessive wealth, and creating poverty.

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Filed under: church and state, ,

11 Responses

  1. cvj says:

    I brought up the matter of farting as a sin in Resty Odon’s (Expectorants) blog and i was told that it was not a sin if not done with malice.

    http://restyo.blogspot.com/2008/03/world-is-flatus.html

  2. rom says:

    cvj:haha. *pfffft* oops.

  3. BrianB says:

    Deadly sins are supposed to be deadly because they lead you from God. They are vices, in other words. I don’t like wearing condoms anyway. And thank God sodomistic practices like oral sex isn’t here. Anger isn’t a deadly sin, too, which means… Yipeee! Murderous rage? Looking upon hot women (married, underaged or lesbians, don’t care) with lust, skilfully undressing them with my eyes? Also not here. Frottuerism (grinding my hard dick on a women’s behind on the MRT) – not here. Unsolicited groping, of the more forward kind, not here. Voyeurism, not here. Getting in the middle of lesbian love, not here. All my favorite sins are not deadly anymore. Thank you lord! I’ve always known I’m not such a bad guy.

  4. BrianB says:

    Deadly sins are supposed to be deadly because they lead you from God. They are vices, in other words. I don’t like wearing condoms anyway. And thank God sodomistic practices like oral sex aren’t here. Anger isn’t a deadly sin, too, which means… Yipeee! Murderous rage? Looking upon hot women (married, underaged or lesbians, don’t care) with lust, skilfully undressing them with my eyes? Also not here. Frottuerism (grinding my hard dick on women’s behind on the MRT) – not here. Unsolicited groping, of the more forward kind, not here. Voyeurism, not here. Getting in the middle of lesbian love, not here. All my favorite sins are not deadly anymore. Thank you lord! I’ve always known I’m not such a bad guy.

  5. rom says:

    brianb: not to burst your bubble or anything, but “yabang” is vanity, and vanity is a deadly vice! LOL! 😉 so you’re still trouble, amigo. 🙂

  6. shiro says:

    excessive wealth? what is this, commie church? 😛

  7. rom says:

    shiro: i know, right? LOL!

  8. BrianB says:

    shiro,

    a lot of people living in democracies believe excessive wealth is bad. Inheritance taxes in Europe are pretty hefty, some topping more than 50%.

  9. Jeg says:

    the Catholic Church has issued a decree that identifies seven “new” deadly sins.

    Pfsh. There was no such ‘decree’. But I understand media’s need for sensationalist tripe such as this ‘new sin list’. It’s what they thrive on. I suppose doing one’s homework as to how ‘new sins’ become doctrine is too much to expect from these reporters.

    (Oh and btw, the comments cvj links to was done in the spirit of fun and facetiousness. Just thought I’d point that out just in case somebody decides to check it out.)

  10. cvj says:

    Jeg, thanks for pointing that out .

  11. shiro says:

    BrianB:

    i think that’s more of a belief that every generation should work to get their wealth, and not just freeload off of their rich ancestors.

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