Patricio Mangubat, over at Filipino Voices, writes about how the July 18 earthquake prediction is actually a political tool – a way of spooking people into accepting whatever Gloria proposes during her State of the Nation Address on the 28th. The scenario, I suppose, is something like how Dubya managed to turn 9/11 into a carte blanche for his agenda.
Now I respect Mr. Mangubat seventy-five ways from Sunday, but this latest from him has me shaking my head in amazement how everything – quite literally everything – can be made to fall into GMA’s lap. It makes me remember how, some time ago, an anti-GMA rally was rained out and the rumors came swiftly that Gloria had caused the rain to fall with some surreptitious and perfectly timed cloud seeding. And now this.
I don’t buy it. The scenario being painted by Mangubat calls for people to be scared almost shitless so that they fall meekly in line with GMA’s policies – thinking that they are a “bitter pill” that needs to be swallowed.
Is anyone really scared by prophets of doom anymore? And even if they are, I hardly think the average Filipino is gonna stay home and wait and see if the earthquake comes rumbling. Remember when there was a slew of text messages from someone claiming to be an ISAFP agent, warning of malls and other public places being bombed? The malls didn’t empty, and the trains were as overloaded as ever. This won’t be any different. More likely, people will go to work precisely to see if the earthquake happens. LOL! It’s called the simian reflex – the tendency of people to ignore danger – or, in this case, the possibility of danger – and gather ’round simply for the purpose of ‘seeing what happened.’
Also, I can imagine bloggers like me going out on that day, armed with a digital camera, loitering around tall buildings just on the off chance I can snap some really cool pictures of falling buildings. It’s a bit morbid, I suppose, but you’ve no idea how often I’ve smacked myself upside the head for not having a camera handy when the perfect shot presents itself.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying we should ignore the warning. On the 18th of July, kinda drift near doorways whenever you have a chance – LOL! I can imagine how crowded doorways will be as people invent excuses to loiter near exits! – and, if you can, bring a dog. When the dog starts going apeshit, run for cover.
For superstitious folk, wear your lucky underwear. For everyone else, allow me to suggest that you wear your I-might-get-lucky underwear. Who knows. You might get pinned in the rubble somewhere and when they have to cut your pants up to get at your injuries, do you really want to be wearing those long-sleeved granny panties? No, people. You want to be in lace.
Seriously tho’, I-might-get-lucky- underwear is a practical consideration. Earthquakes make people horny like hell. Maybe it’s the thought of having survived something that would have surely snuffed you out; maybe it’s your ovaries getting knocked around. Whatever, people who survive earthquakes experience a spike in horniness and, if you’re with someone you care even a little about, you just might end up knocking boots within half-an-hour. Now there’s something to look forward to, eh?
Oh, and don’t forget to bring condoms. You don’t want to be part of the post-earthquake-baby-boom statistic either.
‘Course, if an earthquake does come rumbling into town on the 18th, I will be so mortified.
Filed under: humor, vacuity, earthquake, earthquake prediction, july 18